MINISTRY OF SPORTS UNOFFICIAL

babu-like contest

2011-09-12T12:34:00.000+05:30

through delphi method, the following babu's have been shortlisted to compete in the prestigious babu-like contest. all the contestants are the results of keyword 'babu' on google images. the winner's image will be put next to babu on a famous social networking platform, an honor less than no other. an honor which is utterly matchless. a goldenest of opportunities. a ray of light in moonless night. an elastic for the loosening chaddi .a belief and all that shit.

please vote for the image that is the most similar to babu.

image 1:

image 2:

image 3:

image 4:

image 5:

image 6:

image 7:

i'm back to come back again: 2nd april special!

2011-04-13T00:23:00.000+05:30

i've written a lot of non sense about a myriad insignificant sporting events. i've written nothing else but shit. i've written poems that are hardly poetic; jokes that are hardly funny; and have photoshopped pictures that hardly look photoshopped. i've used poor keywords. my search engine optimization skills suck. i've tried to be sarcastic, but have ended up as an arse. i've used gay-ish bar graphs to represent facts. i've publicly humiliated britney spears, kalmadi and other brothers-and-sisters in and around earth: well, that's the closest i got to nirvana. i've over used crayons and sparkles for comments. i've been freakingly immodest. i've been an aggro, if nothing else. i've interviewed india's best squash player. yeah, i did that. egotist. jackass. i've put revealing photographs of female sport-stars. voyeur. i've made fun of a nation in debt. indian. i've made fun of accents. racist. i've used sad pitiful titles. i've been a dirty man. i've categorized women. chauvinist. i've belittled star wars. yes, i've abused the force. sob. i've endorsed extra-marital affairs. click here. i've been a politician in the land of 2Gs, fodder and cycles. i've been a minister. an unofficial minister. the unofficial minister of sports. self-obsessed. prick.

but i demand pardon. yes, i demand it. because i forgave yuvraj singh on the 2nd of this month. i forgot all of his assitude. his condescending abuses aimed at my college gatekeeper for performing the assigned duties. his stupid and highly irritating comments during interviews. his disgusting accent. ~~his porsche. his bmw. his audi.~~ his self-endorsed popularity among the chick-community. his stories of his exes. his continual breaking-news sagas. his laughing out loudly on his own poor jokes. i've hereby forgotten all of it. delete. yes. empty recycle bin. yes. who is yuvraj singh?

it's been 11 days now. and i may seem late. but no, i'm not. click here. you'll feel the goosebumps.
congrats!

don't get too excited. i'm still on my "indefinite" hiatus.

flashback!
some of my internationally-recognized and critically-acclaimed comments:
images:
(1)bob (left) is still trying to come over his compulsive affinity towards specific female organs. god bless him success in all endeavors.
(2)saina (top), break dancing.
(3)rajpal (left-bottom), seen here, dragging his stick. hockey stick.
(4)lalit modi (right-bottom, literally) here, with all his lust

a letter: there's a man-brain inside my woman-heart..

2010-11-10T01:47:00.001+05:30

actually, i meant the contrary: there's a woman-heart inside my man-brain.

no, wait.

okay, just forget the title.

dear friends,

i have been an amazingly honest minister: a rarity in the nation of rajas, chavans, kalmadis and many more of such my-brothers. it is rather unfortunate that i am just an unofficial. but respect to late Kurt Cobain and the other members of the band nirvana, for they came out with a beautiful record called "nevermind".

so never mind my friends. never mind.

friends, i have been writing for quite some time about the various indian-sporting-performances-at-the-international-arena. some of those that are usually neglected (mostly by my pessimistic non-voters). but today, i, for the first time in recorded human history, am not going to talk about the various indian-sporting-performances-at-the-international-arena, or sporting-performances-at-the-international-arena, or the-international-arena. today, my friends, i will talk about me-self.

yes, it's the minister on the minister by the minister.

i'd start with an emotional soliloquy on my heart:

"my heart, thou defy the basic laws of physics;

thou, being deeper than petty measurements.

thou defy the basic theories of psychology;

thou, being so tough a nut to crack.

but thank god, thou don't defy the basic concepts of biology.

thou, pumping the blood properly.

o' my heart-eth - thou, a woman's heart.

a homosexual woman."

but, dearest friends, my mind is the manliest possibly matter currently available in the milky way. it is more manly than dara singh or deols. a clear proof is the fact that when my heart yearns for coldplay songs, my mind doesn't let me do so; it doesn't let me read nicholas sparks novels; it stops me from facebooking; and honestly, what not.

but thanks to my heart. the amazing yin-yang balance has resulted in this mighty compound called M2O2S1U (here, 2 & 1 are insignificant. are here just to give a compoundish look. it stands for Ministry Of Sports Unofficial).

i would end this letter with a sincere hope, that you would appreciate my openness; and continue to ignore my posts like you have always done.

please don't be mad at yourself. it's okay to read one or two of these.

your friend,

the minister!

ps: a comment or two would be appreciated. i have been comment-dry for a long-long time.

indian football is back.. again!

2010-10-28T02:13:00.001+05:30

after bouncing back countless times for almost five decades, indian football is back, again!

although there are times (and many) when i feel, we aren't going anywhere but only to and fro, and that too in three-digit rankings; some miracle men bring me back on the troublesome track of optimism. most of them are my alter egos (raju, bunty and simone). but some surprisingly aren't. and one of them is mr. subodh waghmare. i am posting one of his comments verbatim, after india managed to jump 16 places to reach an amazing and its latest fifa ranking of 144: "This is just the beginning ...........beware SPAIN here we come ...............!" thank you subodh. thank you! please mind the emotions, and sarcasm.

like every man needs such a wife/wives, every team needs such fans. aiff run indian team needs more of subodhs, buntys, rajus and simones. this message is not only directed at my real-usual self, but also to all those hyper-excited boys who howl every time chicharito or fabregas lose the ball, but it hardly matters to them if chhteri or bhutia have suffered a severely severe injury.

yes we are not doing well. but that doesn't mean, we stop supporting our bhangra boys. we need to back our team through thick and thin. i'd do that. and if you are a football fanatic, i'd hope, so would you.

some recent international performances that led to india's 16-place jump:

india 1:2 thailand

india 2:0 namibia

india 0:1 hong kong

india 3:1 vietnam

india 3:6 yemen

india will be playing iraq on 11th november which would probably be the last friendly before the 2011 asian cup! it is after 27 years that we are again a part of the asian elite. please guys, it's time we support without expectations but with hope!

but.. is this good enough an improvement?

2010-10-15T18:46:00.003+05:30

so it has all ended wonderfully. let's congratulate everyone who had had his part, small or big, in conducting the games. despite all the hiccups, we all know they've succeeded. so thank you peoples!

and yes, for the first time in the history of any mega sporting event, we have climbed up to the second position. so, i, couldn't control the urge to come out with a pictorial representation citing india's improvements. the following bar graph is self explanatory (i have worked hard on it. well, not hard. bit it does take your time):

(to enlarge, click on the image)

for one, i know it is really geeky. but, that's me. but more importantly, two, india (with a small exception of 2006) has been improving every single year. but.. is this good enough an improvement? i mean, despite the medals there have been results that are nothing less but shameful. you want examples? you'll get them:

(a) the netball result: cook islands, a commonwealth nation not even a real nation, with a population of less than 20thousand, finished 10th when we WON the 12th position out of a massive total of 12 teams! now, you would say, well it's not our game. but then, who's game is it any way?

(b) swimming: except the exception of prasanta karmaka's exceptional exception, nothing was good. nothing has ever been good. will something ever be good?

(d) and, do we cycle at all?

(e) from "who is ashish kumar?" to the inception of a hope, the gymnast's two medals should open more doors. c'mon guys, we can be a flexible bunch..

(f) silver to our dear hockey team is an excellent achievement; but october 14th's final scoreline could have been slightly better.

(g) lawn bowls was something new. where are all the old men?

(h) rugby: thanks to the tournament layout, we didn't end up last.

(i) squash results could have been much better.

(j) and finally, with our population production engines of such magnificent efficiency, we should aim for better.

our wrestlers shone! and we were fairly good in rest of the disciplines. it's a sign of good things to come. let's hope glasgow's even better.

for the final medal tally, click here.

introducing: the mango man!

2010-10-14T01:59:00.003+05:30

even when 6081 athletes vying for 260 gold medals in 17 disciplines from 71 commonwealth nations are participating here in delhi, our very own mango cliched man wonders: "kirkat to hum sune thhe. ee kaamunwelth kaa hai?"
let me clarify. to begin with, it's not a joke. and if it in any way put a lol or an rofl in your mind, i'm sorry to inform you but you may be suffering from a disease called 'poor sense of humour' or another one called 'indifference'. the symptoms of both the ailments are pretty much similar; but the consequences of latter, well... fatal.

"...when 46% of India's children and 55% of women are malnourished, does spending billions of dollars on a 12-day sports event build national pride or is it a matter of national shame?"

—Miloon Kothari, leading Indian expert on socio-economic development

let me first present my point of view: i am completely in favour of the commonwealth games. it may be because i love sports, and i love the whole concept of our nation coming out in the world. but if i think rationally as an indian, were the games worth it?

business today estimated that the games cost $6.8 bn (which also includes non-sports-related infrastructure development in the city). and yes, it's big-big money. so what do we get in return?

one, the employment opportunity: around 2.5 million jobs (and maybe more, indirectly) were created as a result of the 12-day extravaganza; two, delhi is transformed: if you are a delhiite, you know what i'm talking about; three, the games are expected to have an overall economic impact of $4940 million over the next four years (according to our commerce minister, mr. anand sharma). plus, there is this whole possibility that the games would improve standards of living across sections, boost sporting activities, and increase international recognition and tourism in our country; well, hopefully.

and let's hope, we are able to maintain what we have created.

but in the end, my dear friend mango man still asks: "hume kaa miloo?"

well, only time can answer you my friend. because even i have lost faith in words.

facts courtesy: wikipedia

commonwealth games: the story of tum kaalaa koota!

2010-10-13T01:19:00.005+05:30

img(1): years ago, a white old man laughed at us.
"tum kaala loota kaabi azad nahi hota ko maangtaa"

img(2): then, a white old man laughed at us.
"tum kaalaa koota kaaabi world cup nahi jeetnaa ko maangataa"

img(3): now, an old man laughed at us.

"tum kaalaa koota kaabi commonwealth nahi acha way se karna ko maangtaa"

i am ~~not~~ here to comment; i am ~~not~~ here to pass judgements; i am only here to report the ~~truth~~. who am i? i am the frodo from lord of the rings. the peter parker played by tobey maguire. the makhaya ntini of chennai super kings. an admirer of chinese women. a fan of usha fans. a key without a lock. and a lock without a key.

i am your friendly neighbourhood super hero. i am the unofficial minister of sports affairs.

please note: no britney spearses were harmed while developing this post.

the comeback!!

2010-10-12T20:36:00.003+05:30

dhen te nan!!! plus a 3x spin-of-head!!
i am back!!
i don't know why, but this reminds me of that kid from terminator2.

he must be old now.
never-mind!

i have made a few comebacks in this life. and there have been a few things that have propagated those comebacks, like five bucks, a lcd television set, a kiss (in the end i just got to watch it), a quick view of a human left breast, and a few more things here and there not quite worth describing. but this is an unexpected one. thanks to everyone who evaluated all these blogs. well done ladies. and guys, you can take two pats each. divide it among yourself (like a pats b, b pats c, c pats a)*.

i am done with some busy days now. and there's plenty that has happened, is happening, and will happen in indian sports.

so i have a huge scope, you see.

img: kal-mad! countdown begins!

*dear neev team,

5000 bucks: i don't know. what honesty!

3000 bucks: well, hello! what confidence!

i am not here for the money silly. wait...

i is excite

2010-07-06T03:37:00.004+05:30

when your article is printed on the very newspaper you have never read - for the very first time - it does feel good.
i tell you, it does!

2010-06-29T02:40:00.000+05:30

An analysis of the analyses of the beautiful game

Our severely over-analytical world has not left even a single opportunity to scrutinize even the length of the grass – to predict outcomes of goals, matches, groups, and the world cup as a whole. FIFA 2010 has given life to not only several analytics start-ups; but some of our planet’s greatest organisations like Microsoft, MIT, Accenture have streaked into the questionable world of football analytics.

Every single touch Ronaldo makes is providing food to no less than a thousand analysts. They are glued to screens – noticing his every move. And noting it down to study some graphs that would help them predict his next (yet to be made) move. Yes – they are trying to predict the future.

But why all this analysis? Who wants these statistics? Don’t you feel the joy of the beautiful game is being taken away by these sleuths?

I certainly feel so. From a spectator point of view, it is ridiculous. But maybe, the managers in today’s so very competitive world end up falling into its trap: when nothing works, you end up trying every possible thing. But even from the managerial point of view, I think it would only complicate things further.

For sports, passion should be the sole criterion. And everything should simply revolve around it. Maradona is a top example to my argument.

It is the element of uncertainty that beautifies not only sports, but life in general. Sports are instinctive. And this is exactly how they should remain – for players, officials, and spectators alike. I sincerely wish football remains football – and not made to be an unresolved equation.

2010-06-22T18:37:00.000+05:30

Sportskeeda Exclusive: Interview with Sourav Ghoshal

Visit: Sportskeeda.com

Sourav Ghoshal is India’s national champion in Squash with a world rank of 27. At just the age of 21 he became an Arjuna Awardee. He has represented and won glory for India at the International stage especially at Doha Asian games where he won a bronze. He recently played against the top players at the SKY Open. In conversation with India’s No. 1, Sourav Ghoshal.

Jitesh: Sourav other than in elite circles, squash is not considered a natural inclination for an Indian kid even among the racquet sports. Do you think that is changing and what drew you towards the sport?

Sourav Ghoshal: Traditionally, squash has been considered an elitist sport but that is definitely changing. There are more kids playing all around the country. This has coincided with the top players doing well on the world stage and that success has brought in much needed enthusiasm amongst the children. Regarding myself, my dad used to play and I was hooked from the very beginning!

Sourav Ghoshal: Making great ground.

Jitesh: Tell us how are you fairing with your form? How was the experience in Sky Open 2010? Also, this is your highest ranking. Do you feel on top of your game?

Sourav Ghoshal: I’m pretty happy with my form over the last few months. I’ve been consistent and have beaten a few top 20 players as well. I feel good about my game at the moment and am working to move up to the next level. the SKY Open was a good event for me as I beat another top 20 player and then had a decent match with the then World no.1. As i said, this is probably the best i’ve ever played and the aim is to continue to improve on my current ranking of 26 which is almost my highest ever!

Jitesh: What would you call as the turning point of your career or do you think it is yet to come?

Sourav Ghoshal: I don’t think I can point towards one match that turned my career around. So, maybe it is yet to come! The important thing is to keep working hard and stay patient. My form today is a result of years of hard work.

Jitesh: Who do you think is currently the best player in the world, or the toughest opponent to play against in the world? And why?

Sourav Ghoshal: Nick Matthew is the world no.1 today and he totally deserves to be there. He has had a phenomenal year, losing only one match! So, he is the best player at the moment. However, I would say it is the toughest to play Ramy Ashour. He plays at such a high pace that it takes you one or two games just to get used to his pace. Also, he has unbelievable racket skill.

Jitesh: How big has been Cyrus Poncha’s role in your success?

Sourav Ghoshal: Cyrus Poncha played a major role in shaping my junior career. I won the British Junior Open when I trained under him. He is a very good motivator and both of us communicated really well. I think that was the key and as a result, we formed a successful partnership.

Jitesh: What about your Indian counterparts and colleagues – what do you think of the other Indian squash players?

Sourav Ghoshal: We are all working very hard and Indian squash is definitely looking up at the moment. Joshna Chinappa and Dipika Pallikal have been doing really well over the last few months and I’m sure there is a lot more to come from them. On the men’s side, Siddharth Suchde and Harinder Pal Singh are doing well alongwith a few others. Ofcourse, we cannot forget Ritwik Bhattacharya who showed everyone the way initially, including me, as to how to do the business on the professional circuit.

Eyes on the target, India's No.1 !

Jitesh: Now something personal, what sports do you follow or like to play other than squash? Any role models?

Sourav Ghoshal: I like playing badminton and cricket. I watch a lot of football and and an avid Manchester United fan. I love watching tennis also and am a big fan of Roger Federer. I greatly admire Sachin Tendulkar also.

Jitesh: What do you indulge in when at home and not training?

Sourav Ghoshal:I listen to a lot of music, watch movies, have recently started reading and play Fifa 10 on the Xbox .

Jitesh: Where do you see the future of squash in India?

Sourav Ghoshal: The future is looking bright for squash in India and it is in our hands to shape it in the best possible way. I hope this generation can produce a couple of top 10 players as that will go a long way in taking Indian squash to new heights and popularasing the sport at the national level.

Jitesh:The Commonwealth Games are to take place in India at Delhi, are you looking forward to be at the games?

Sourav Ghoshal: It is always an honour to represent India and with the Commonwealth Games being held in Delhi, there is added excitement. I really hope that I can win a medal for the country at the Games and make India proud!

Edited By: Arpit Kumar

on an indefinite hiatus...!

2010-06-11T18:36:00.001+05:30

do read my poem in the end.

after nearly two months of continuous blogging, wherein i posted some of the worst posts ever and also a few good ones, the unknown entity namely they gray meter has begun to wander about yet again. i sincerely hope - meter babu decides to settle down somewhere - and fast. till then, i bid adieu to all my non-existent readers. thank you.

i will continue reading blogs. appreciating them. not commenting on them (unless babuji comes out with something flashy and fake; and if it is a rare-hot female blogger: something seductive with a 43 degree stare of eyes which she won't see because you can't see me while blogging. but i tell you. the stares. they are completely ineffective.).

for the jiyo life competition (which i shouldn't win because of my disappointing efforts on being funny. and poor punctuation: people, it's deliberate. i swear on your grandmother's life. it is. i am very funny. i laugh on my jokes):

at 21, i may not be the one with an array of experiences that may be inspiring enough to well... inspire. but i believe there are things i have learnt which have meshed up pretty well with the genetic attainments, and i do live a "club-mahindra-fun-family-forever-jiyo-life" life (sponsors, notice).

belonging to an army family, i would call, is one of those (proto-)genetic attainments. travelling is in my blood. and india makes my red blood cells. i was born in meerut (u.p.) a few decades (read ages) ago . and then lived across the nation in agartala (tripura), faridkot (punjab), srinagar, kolkata, bikaner (rajasthan), amritsar, chandigarh, hyderabad and now (in a few days) bangalore.

and, consciously or unconsciously, i have taken the little tripura/rajasthan/bengal/etc elements to form the compound namely me-self.

i have been taught: travelling is not a checklist. it is an addition. an experience.

as a person involved in creative arts, there came a time (a few months back) when i failed to come out with anything at all. and the sudden inability to create ignited the cycle of uncreativity which kept increasing day-by-day. i was losing confidence. my morale had gone underground. i felt like leaving my art form forever. but the himalayas came to my rescue. my father's (yet-another) eccentric holiday trip to himachal (which coincidently is my home town, if i have one) revived my lost charm. and i had a new work ready in days. this is how strong nature is. and i became aware of it, courtesy: travel.

time to think, where is this post going (?). i just had the lcd in mind and began with the post. had no topic in mind. just an honestly honest flow.

actually, this is what blogging is to me: an honest flow. i am young. a guy (call me sexist). physically fit (self appreciation, one of my hobbies). competitive. friendly. a guy (i love the entire womankind). emotional. a guy.
so keeping all these aspects in mind, the logical conclusion was an interest in sports. also, i am good at a dozen ball-games. and a few without balls (talking about sports only). so the blog: ministryofsportsunoffcial.blogspot.com.
but more than my posting. it was the reading part that had the legendary ingredients of awesomeness(barney stinson's) . there is more i have taken in than thrown out. which is why i love blogging (no, i am not teressa).

but all good things have to end. and the rest of the stuff... takes breaks. and that is what i am doing: taking a break.

big sporting events are lined up. biggest being the fifa world cup that begins today.

may the best team win the cup!

a small bye-bye poem i wrote:

i am saying bye bye;

because i am taking a break.

hrithik's latest movie was kites;

yesterday, i ate a cake!

p.s. will be back by cwg, hopefully...

tale of two sainas...

2010-06-08T12:52:00.000+05:30

. saina nehwal: humaari apni world no. 6 says that she is hopeful that indian shuttlers will perform well in the upcoming indian open in chennai, which starts on tuesday.

overall, it has been an eventful year for her. and she is optimistic of carrying her good form into the competition and the two important events following it (scheduled in singapore and indonesia).

. saina mirza: mrs malik made a winning comeback on the court. she defeated a higher ranked taiwanese opponent to set up a second round clash with a much higher ranked thai girl. after an eventful year (for completely different reasons than nehwal), she has sent a clear message to people spreading rumors of her babies-and-settlement plans. find a job, guys. you never know, her sporting babies may eventually play for dubai (uae).

. cwg 2010: sale of tickets for commonwealth games has commenced. tickets have been priced from rs 50 to rs 1000. whereas, the opening ceremony ticket prices range from rs 1000 to rs 50000. and closing ceremony, from rs 750 to rs 50000.

go to: tickets.cwgdelhi2010.org

img: sania falls down, while representing india.

p.s. did i say saina mirza. sorry, no offences. i meant sania malik.

a series of questionable decisions..

2010-06-05T23:37:00.000+05:30

. with india-d team crashing out of the tri-series, the slot for future captain is open again. raina, proved his incapability as a leader with his one-after-another doubtful and naive decisions. the lankan outfit, again without their star players, was up to the task and saw india out of the competition.

. congratulations to zimbabwe. they are back to the top level of international cricket. after nearly a decade of continuous downfall, the african side is back to where they left when the flowers (andy-types mainly) stopped blooming.

img: the real winner of micromax cup 2010: the future captain?

zim-baba-re

2010-06-04T08:00:00.000+05:30

for the second time in a row, zimbabwe defeated india in the ongoing tri-series.

the entire side displayed its excellent india-b team characteristics except jadeja. he, yet again, was good with both bat and ball.

india had set a target of 195 runs in 50 overs. and zimbabwe took less than 40 overs to achieve it.

the result has jeopardized our chances to make it to the final.

img: zimbabwean keeper (t. taibu) impersonating bachchan saab.

yuvi and his sweet talk..

2010-06-03T08:24:00.000+05:30

hello people

this is yuvraj singh from chandigarh.

i love bcci. they give me porsche. they keep me in indian team for hitting six sixes in an over. they also don't send an india team to asian games in china, which would have had me for hitting six sixes a decade ago. by the way, it was the first time that cricket was being introduced to the entire of asia. all the little-eye countries, you know. bcci also gives me ample time to make money and make (more than, he he) friends with model women from mumbai.

i love bcci. and they keep me in team for loving them also.

i don't talk much. because english is my 6th language (many sixes in my life you know, he he) after punjabi and its distant cousins.

well, keep loving me.

and always remember my six sixes.

thanks.

p.s. do buy my merchandise, he he.

the chronicles of today: the queen, the sharma and the mary

2010-05-30T20:51:00.000+05:30

. (cwg) for the first time in 40years, queen elizabeth is skipping common-wealth games. prince charles is the royal representative this time out. the royal reason stated royally for the royal denial is royal workload.

. (cricket) rohit sharma led india to a convincing victory over our southern neighbors. kohli, dinda, ojha, mishra and jadeja too had a great outing. rohit, adjudged man of the match, also made a brilliant century.

. (boxing) mc mary kom wins yet another title. she won her third asian boxing title. sarita devi, too, won her fourth title.

img: mary dishooms-off her opponent..

coming up: more on magnificent mary..

the great indian world-cup dream...

2010-05-29T19:41:00.000+05:30

warning: this post goes nowhere. it is simply an emotional outburst because of our 'obvious' failure to reach south africa. there is no research involved. only my little and concerned experiences.

football is played almost in each and every school in india. from kashmir to kanyakumri, this is one sport clearly visible on roadsides, roads, vacant plots, streets, tennis courts, dining halls, bathrooms, farms, mud, even cricket pitches and on so-called football grounds. people foot ball here. i remember, even the lamest of guys who was good at nothing but chasing his sexual counterparts in school would creep in for a moment or two to kick the ball. it's a fact: we, indians, love to kick. and most of us even recognize that football is our best chance to do so. men of strangest of sizes and women of questionable & pleasing ones can be found kicking something at least, once a day. and for youngsters it is mostly a football.

also, there are large numbers of people who follow european clubs religiously.

so despite the fact that football is widely played, immensely loved, vastly followed and well watched - why is indian football not even looked at by the same people???

one of the reasons is: the 1983 cricket world cup. no, i am not putting all the blames on cricket. 1983 was a year that brought us not only happiness and joy but also pride. what happened is, it was this very time when the surge in new media began. people were becoming rich and aware. sports and indian performances on the international stage were a concern to people now. and it was the very time when football started to lose its shine.

the memories of 1951,62 asian golds or 1956 olympics or the 1950 world-cup qualification weared away.

it may be a flawed argument.

but maybe not.

as of now, indian football is stuck in a vicious-vicious cycle: no money -leads to- no infrastructure -leads to- bad coaching -leads to- unskilled players -leads to- no international wins -leads to- no international trophies -leads to- people don't care -leads to- no sponsors -leads to- no money; and the cycle continues.

so with deep analytical thought, and an awesome super-manly logical prowess i have reached a conclusion: we need money. money. someone needs to come in and invest heavily for the love of sport, if nothing else. sunil bharti mittal did 'donate' 100 crores. but considering the fact that we are still playing football of 1960s standards, bharti-donation is peanuts.

we need more lovers. and like any other woman, football too needs rich lovers. because profits here are a distant (very far, i tell you) dream.

the football federation has signed numerous pacts with innumerable federations. including brazil, if it excites you. but it has hardly helped. and the way it seems, in distant future also: it won't.

to conclude, where are we moving?

. optimisto says: houghton, by far, has been the best indian coach in three decades. we have talented youngsters coming in. they are vastly exposed to european style of football. we now have the money to buy football-boots. and many other things of technological importance. industrialists are providing with funds. now that we have qualified for asian cup after 27 years. we will be playing world cup by 2018.

. pessimisto says: ha, what a joke.

. realistico says: true optimisto, but make it 2030.

p.s. some facts:

. we qualified for the 1950 world cup in brazil. but had to back out because we were not allowed to play with bare feet. our players were not used to play with studs. so our entry was rejected by fifa.

. we came 4th in 1956 melbourne olympics.

. and were the winners in 1951,62 asian games.

. current fifa ranking: 132

india continue their streak..

2010-05-28T22:37:00.000+05:30

hosts zimbabwe defeat india by six wickets.

zimbabwean openers (h.masakadza and b.taylor) gave their side a formidable opening, on which the entire innings was set. later craig ervine and others put in their bits to successfully chase the target of 286 runs set by indian batsmen. young indian pace attack was nothing close to being called an attack. the two spinners (a.mishra and r.jadeja), though, were good.

earlier, r.sharma's century and a handy knock by r.jadeja helped india reach 285 runs.

img: raina and his young brothers, all worried for kohli's glasses.

khelo khelo..

2010-05-26T17:29:00.000+05:30

after postponing the 34th national games for five times (only), two of our greatest leaders - extremely honest - greatly valued - the ones who are models of national integrity, conviction and morality - who are not only great statesmen but national idols and youth icons: shibu soren and suresh kalmadi, have confirmed that national games will be organized in jharkhand from december 9-22.

p.s. if you wondered, why we won 73 medals (26 golds) in beijing 2008.

ping pong..

2010-05-25T08:57:00.000+05:30

in the on going world tt championships in moscow,

indian men off to a good start...

indian women..no..

led by olympian achanta sharath kamal, indian men registered their second successive victory defeating canada. on the first day, they had beaten bosnia-herzegovina.

whereas, women lost both their matches to malaysia and denmark.

img: kamal, a little confused. distracted by russian women in the crowds.

and the heaviest-weight champion is...

2010-05-23T18:26:00.000+05:30

a double handicap match: gill-man and kal-mad vs the-real-gill-man; soon turned into a classic one on one match: gill-man vs kal-mad; later turned into triple threat: gill-man vs kal-mad vs the-real-gill-man; and finally it all ended with the entry of the special guest referee: the delhi high court...

yes ladies and gentleman. i hereby announce our new super-sports-buddhau champion: the-real-gill-man..!

. the-real-gill-man:

career highlights: super-cop; patting female posteriors; killing innocents: (?)...

. kal-mad:

career highlights: sports mafia; apart from food-water-oxygen, can not live without a chair; f1 is a sport: a family sport; commonwealth superman...

. gill-man:

career highlights: national-level badminton player..

p.s. inspired by true events.. (and bloggers)

the french kiss...!

2010-05-21T22:19:00.000+05:30

it took us thirteen long years, but finally an indian has qualified for the french open main draw. somdev devvarman has made us all proud. and for the twenty-five year old, it's just the beginning.

img: yes som, well done!

p.s. dear sania, we are having a singles representation. we don't depend on you. happy pakistaning.

lemon squash..

2010-05-21T11:36:00.000+05:30

sky open 2010, cairo

after an inspired performance in the first round, where india number-one (ranked twenty-seven in the world) saurav ghosal defeated his malaysian counterpart azlan iskandar (ranked sixteen) for the first time in five tour outings; saurav failed to continue his streak, bowing out of the competition in pre-quarters.

but overall, definitely a step forward.

img: in blue shirt, saurav making strange faces.

courtesy: squash(uk)

p.s. apologies for the poor title..

i league: the story of in and out EPISODE II

2010-05-20T22:53:00.000+05:30

. (out) mahindra united's disclosure nearly a month ago that they are pulling out of india's top flight football league, even when they are one of the top clubs, was not only shocking but heartbreaking. it reflects the lack of earning opportunities in the sport.

mr anand mahindra said that they will now refocus on building the sport at the grassroots and community level. let's hope they do.

. (in) the team which is set to replace mufc in the coming i-league season is: india under-19, to be christened as aiff xi. the aiff has already finalized a list of 24 juniors who will represent the side. supposedly, it was national coach bob houghton's idea. he has also recommended english side QPR's ex-manager Desmond Bulpin, who is currently Philippines national side coach, to guide aiff xi.

mr houghton, what an idea sirji!

img: bob is still trying to come over his compulsive affinity towards specific female organs. god bless him success in all endeavors.

the battle of balls..

2010-05-20T19:47:00.000+05:30

icc president david morgan has said that day-night test matches are on their way. over the last few decades, tests have failed to draw crowds to stadiums. in order to revive their near-dead appeal, in a traditional british way, a committee has been formed. our very own dear sirji gary kirsten has also been included in the board. the other panelists being: ravi shastri, clive lloyd, ian bishop, mark taylor, sangakkara, tim may, justin vaughn, simon taufel, ranjan madugulle, keith bradshaw, clare connor, david kendix and steve tikolo.

now the real question that arises is: which ball are they going to use? the red ball? the white ball? or a new ball altogether?

as per my unofficially official sources, white balls are right at the forefront in the battle.

overall, it does sound interesting. the idea. rest, only time will tell.

img: an all-teary red ball, fearing its end..

p.s. isn't it the run-rate that bores us off in tests?

french fries..

2010-05-19T12:12:00.000+05:30

as the french open 2010 closes in, it's time to have a look at the indian prospects..

. leander paes: last year's men's doubles champion, as always, is the flag-bearer of the indian contingent..

. mahesh bhupathi: the other indian legend, again, will be the forerunner for doubles crowns.

. sania mirza: she has decided to sacrifice another title, in order to concentrate on the aman ki asha initiative.

. somdev devvarman: is the only indian in the running to make it to the singles main draw..

. rohan bopanna: let's hope his indo-pak express with aisam qureshi goes some distance this time..

. prakash amritraj: fails to qualify..

. yuki bhambri: the future of india tennis has gone missing..

starry eyes no more..

2010-05-18T11:24:00.000+05:30

bcci sources say: from here onwards, a player would only be selected if he is fit enough to compete at the top level. and he won't be a part of the national squad because once upon a time in recent history he was the icc player of the year or the man who hit six sixes in an over.

there is no dearth of talent in the country. youngsters, in numbers, are coming up. booze/drugs/escorts-control is all that they need. in short, ipl-party control is what is required. it is cricket that they must be exposed to. rather than what comes with it.

senior players must set the example:

img: yuvraj doing photo with babes.

courtesy: ndtv

p.s. ipl is a great league. and definitely, it's not the reason behind indian wt20 failure. jayawardene, kp and others have proved so.

the mystery of india and the losing finalists...

2010-05-17T13:42:00.000+05:30

. thomas cup 2010: india lost to indonesia in the quarterfinals. few days hence, indonesia lose to china in the finals.

. uber cup 2010: india lost to china in the quarterfinals. few days hence, china lose to korea in the finals.

is there a hidden meaning behind such a progress? some mathematical equation? a magical spell? or just a cut-copy-paste function on my part?

okay, more seriously, it was a good outing for the indian shuttlers. yes, saina nehwal, has multiplied our hopes to win more in the badminton arena; but nonetheless, the indian team made its presence felt.

img: saina, break dancing.

courtesy: tribune india

t20 champions..

2010-05-17T06:38:00.000+05:30

i don't know if it really concerns me as an indian. but i think, on moral grounds, it becomes my duty to congratulate the english. after creating the beautiful game of cricket some 5 centuries ago, they have finally managed to win a world cup.

good going.

india win azlan shah..

2010-05-16T23:14:00.000+05:30

congratulations and thank you!

weather did play spoilsport. what else could have saved the korean team. india, high on confidence, had already defeated korea in the league stage; india also boasted highest number of wins in the tournament.

but rain, in the end, forced us to share the sultan azlan shah cup 2010 with the other asian giants. but it's a victory and a huge one, nonetheless.

next stop: commonwealth, new delhi!

img: rajpal, seen here, dragging his stick. hockey stick.

courtesy: fih

no blame game?!

2010-05-15T10:24:00.000+05:30

it comes out as a shock, but bcci is backing indian cricketers. commonly known for its filthy politics, exclusive parties, board meetings, sharad pawar and braindead decisions; shashank manohar led cricket governing body has decided to stand by dhoni & co. it is a rarity: history its proof. but here comes the breather: "media is making villains out of our boys."

drastic changes in the world scare me. thank goodness they do throw out some meat.

and well done women's team: you left a mark.

anand hi anand..

2010-05-12T22:18:00.000+05:30

india's greatest sportsman ever, grandmaster vishwanathan anand has toppled topalov of bulgaria. he not only re-asserted his supremacy on the chess board; but has also successfully overcome his obsession with nose picking, as seen here.

as per the findings of a recent survey, 90 out of 100 students failed to recognize him. and 9 out of the rest 10, recalled him as the NIIT wala. even after informing these 99 students of his achievements, they refused to accept chess a sport.

also, it has been found: i don't know anand syndrome -is directly proportional to- age.

hail the king!

men are back!

2010-05-11T17:04:00.000+05:30

no, i won't compare them to cricketers. it has been overly done; quite nearly, the third most thing i've done in this life. but, i want to take this opportunity to thank rajpal and co, for bringing smiles to our cricketed lips. first pakistan, then s. korea, and now the world champs aussies. how big can it get??

we still have some distance to go in the tournament, so i won't jump the guns. but yes, men are back!

img: indian team on its way to win 4-3 against australia in the azlan shah cup, malaysia.

india xi

2010-05-09T23:00:00.000+05:30

krishnamachari srikkanth's dream india xi is as follows:

. murali vijay

. anirudha srikkanth

. vidyut sivaramakrishnan

. subramaniam badrinath (c)

. ravichandran ashwin

. laxmipathy balaji

. palani amarnath

. chandrasekhar ganapathy

. mahendra singh dhoni (wk)

. suresh raina

. muthiah muralitharan

that doesn't take away anything from the current slick xi. gambhir and co have already asked for pay hikes; they don't find indian jersey lucrative enough. such honesty, he is a daredevil after all.

cheeka all dreamy about his dream xi

thankyou mr modi

2010-05-07T21:15:00.000+05:30

for..

. ipl

. and a lesson: arrogance kills..

lalit modi here, with all his lust..

sports wars episode II:

2010-05-05T09:50:00.000+05:30

be bill phite it oat..say the heads and tails of national federations. after winning 105 gold medals in beijing olympics, this is not the way to treat our heroes.

heroes also said, committee members democratically elect presidents. to which ms gill & associates accused them of being mere puppets. with lies flowing all around, we are here to witness predictable indian politics.

bob?

2010-05-04T11:47:00.000+05:30

robert douglas houghton (you can call him bob), indian football's most prized possession (maybe after baichung), is maybe on his way out. the former fulham striker has issues with the renewal of his contract. and we suck.

three reasons why he should stay:

. nehru cup restart

. won three trophies

. asian cup qualification

why he shouldn't?

. he has a dark side: as you can see him here, gesturing his evil intentions towards a female reporter. he also hates aiff.

well done kps gill

2010-05-03T11:33:00.000+05:30

oh sorry..i mean ms gill. i feel sorry for the tennis sensation yashwant sinha; great archer vk malhotra, who, in all these years has made karan & arjun, ram & laxman from the epics more than proud; tytler, the judoka, who tachi-waza'd a specific group of people; ajay singh chautala, who in his prime defeated ching-mings 11-2, 11-3; kalmadi babu, his great work is a lesson for the entire nation: new delhi let's play, oh wait it's a construction site; and many other legends like off-spinner laluji. finally, some good news (president of any recognized sports federation can hold the office for maximum twelve years). keep up the good work mr kps gill..

oh sorry.. i mean ms gill...

kitna lambi saal hota

2010-05-03T01:14:00.000+05:30

my ninth sense just reminded me, what a great-great year in 2010 we have. all you sports lovers. do you realize the realization i have realized? with winter olympics and south-asian games already over; we still have:

. singapore youth olympics

. guangzhou asian games

. fifa wc

. and the biggie: new delhi cwg

so o' dear o' dear o' dear o' folks, are you ready? i say peoples, are you ready?

no so again

2010-05-02T08:00:00.000+05:30

chhetri does not make it to teamsheet . no problem. no problem.

thanda thanda cool cool

2010-05-01T22:50:00.000+05:30

india's lilliputian representation in vancouver olympics was not only embarrassing but also hurting. thank you jamyang namgial, tashi lundup and shiva keshvan for being the saving grace. why should we not have a proper winter representation? yes, we are nowhere in summer olympics? but i don't think it is appropriate to ignore winter sports just because we are concentrating on summers. we need to work on both at the same time with similar efforts. it's not about having unrealistic targets; but it is about having targets at least. the northern states of himachal, uttarakhand and j&k provide massive opportunities, if someone is willing to exploit. i sincerely hope, in 2014, india at least has a respectable participation.

indian team at vancouver 2010

i league: the story of in and out

2010-05-01T10:52:00.000+05:30

. (out)mufc or mahindra-united football club, one of india's premier clubs, has decided to pull out of the national league. it comes as a surprise, as the next 4-5 years seem the brightest for indian football since last few decades. and i seriously doubt their wisdom.

p.s. david booth coach of mu thinking: i lost my job mate.

. (in)the famous kundras of rajasthan royals, uk and lamborghini-bigbrother fame are "starting" a football league in india. people, this is what i call 'counting the chickens before they hatch.' some anonymous guy also calls it: lack of information. dear kundras, it is heartfelt that you are "starting"a football league; and it is wonderful that your utopian news makes the real front page of a news-paper; but, just to inform you, the all-india-football-federation commonly known as aiff already has a league going and they plan to take it to the next level every passing year. though your interest in football does increase marketing prospects; but as an indian football fan, i hope it is as much an emotional decision for you as a business one.

p.s. kundras are spending quality times. see:

learn from tiger woods

2010-04-30T20:55:00.000+05:30

some great marketing guy once said: negative publicity is the best publicity, provided if you can handle it. i am a great fan of that anonymous marketing guy. indian football needs publicity, serious publicity. and we know we cant play great football. nor do we have great money. the truth is, indian football is stuck in this vicious cycle: no money (leads to) no infrastructure (leads to) bad coaching (leads to) unskilled players (leads to) no international wins (leads to) no international trophies (leads to) people don't care (leads to) no sponsors (leads to) no money; and the cycle continues. and deep analytical thought, and an awesome super-manly logical prowess has led me to reach to a conclusion: we need money. how? we need a tiger woods. a few odd indian players have the looks to charm women, and a few gen-z girls have lost moral conscience: if you can see, what i can see; i see a future. a future of indian football. some one has to take the reposibility; sacrifice his playing career; sacrifice his values and morality (if there's such a thing: i seriously doubt); be the playboy; be the breaking news. and help indian football reflect light, and not be transparent any more. be visible.

p.s. sania mirza has a few lessons for us too.

will he won't he?

2010-04-30T18:39:00.000+05:30

not very long ago, sunil chhetri was in the front page of indian

news-papers' second page of sports column's top left 10 by 10 box. why? because he had made a move into a league where none other than filmstar and hab (husbands and boyfriends) david beckham played. yes he also plays football as a hobby. he comes from britain. being only the third player in india's not-so-glorious 138 yr-old football history (read soccer, us of america you see), chhetri has created some rare hype in india. mls of usa or major-league-soccer is one of the top-15 international leagues of the beautiful game. he also features in kansas city wizards wikipedia page; check this out; go-go india: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_City_Wizards#Players. by the way kansas city wizards is the name of the 'lucky' club he has signed for. lucky because, if somehow, somehow, football becomes famous in india; wizards can make a lot of money. you see we are an ipl country after all. chhetri has scored quite nearly in every game (read practice game) he has played in states. and he says he is learning every day; and playing amongst international-level players (in india, international-level means world cup players) would help him hone his skills for 2011 afc asian cup. but that takes us to a thousand (us) dollar question: will he feature in saturday's game against houston dynamos; that is, in a 'real' game? keep your fingers crossed..

go-go chhetri!